Mar 1, 2021Member-onlyThe Lessons COVID Offers Us about Racism.“I don’t care who says that vaccine is safe. I’m not getting it. There’s no way I’m going to put foreign entities in my body.” These were the words of one of my oldest friends. A Black woman whom I’ve known for more than 25 years. I listened to her…Racism5 min read
Published in ZORA·May 14, 2020Member-onlyHow Can Immigrants Die With Dignity During a Pandemic?Covid-19 has robbed many immigrant families of the right to be buried in a way consistent with their values and traditions — I was about nine years old when my grandmother first took me to her burial plot. She and my grandfather had scraped together enough money to buy one of the last remaining plots in the cemetery in our town in the Dominican Republic. Soon thereafter, that cemetery ran out of…Death5 min read
Mar 10, 2020Member-onlyWhen You Abandoned Our Son I lost the Right to Parent AutonomouslyI don’t feel anger towards you. Not anymore that is. Time has healed my pain, though it has not been as merciful to our child. I was naive for certain when we decided to bring a child into the world. Nonetheless, the obstacles I experienced parenting him taught me life’s…Parenting4 min read
Published in Age of Awareness·Nov 13, 2019Member-onlyEducating My Black Son.I’ll never forget the time my son told me that he didn’t want to be black anymore. He was 6 years old and in first grade. “Why”? I asked, surprised. “Because some people don’t like Black people” he said, sadly. My body filled first with dread and then with anger…Racism5 min read
Oct 18, 2019Member-onlyMy Addiction to OverachievingI have always been the queen of overachieving. I get a high from it. I chase that high. I’m addicted to it. And while I never liked failure much, I embraced it when we met. Why? Because failure offered me another opportunity to overachieve. To the outside observer, this philosophy…Life Lessons2 min read
Published in Human Parts·Sep 16, 2019Member-onlyHow I’m Teaching My Daughter That Her Body Is Her OwnOur Dominican culture conflates love with touch, but I want my daughter to feel like she has a choice — I recently had a difficult conversation with my aunt, whom I love dearly. The topic? My three-year-old daughter’s bodily autonomy. My wife and I lead very child-centric lives. We pride ourselves on raising our child to know that her voice matters. We try to offer her some control over her…Parenting5 min read
Published in Apparently·Jul 1, 2019Member-onlyI Know You Mean Well, But Please Stop Telling Me How Much Our Baby Looks Like MeSince I gave birth to my daughter, people think I’m her biological mother — I’m not. — “I saw a picture of your daughter today. She is so cute. I can’t get over how much she looks like you.” I hear this all the time. I heard it first within hours of my daughter’s birth. I know people say this because they care about our family. I…3 min read
Published in Human Parts·Jun 28, 2019Member-onlyBreastfeeding Shouldn’t Be This HardHaving two babies at very different times in my life has shown me firsthand how racism and poverty affect new parents — Three months after my second child was born, I was scheduled to attend an academic conference. …Breastfeeding7 min read
